I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
