And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
