fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
