can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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