people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
