nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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