a queef is a wish your heart makes.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize