Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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