david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
