just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
