Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Success! We fucked roommates!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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