It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
