You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's official drugs can't kill me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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