Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
