She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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