You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
