I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Every concussion has its silver lining
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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