I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
