They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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