weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
