Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
