the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
