i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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