Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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