fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
