i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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