So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
