what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
