is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
