I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
