shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
