As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize