I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
