that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I skipped work to stalk him.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
