Buhtt sex?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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