): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
