I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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