I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She even gives head with a lisp.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
