I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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