Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
tell me about the fingering
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
