I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
