White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize