I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
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