I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
why do cheetos always look like penises
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
