its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
