I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
