There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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