Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
