We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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