well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
