Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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