This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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