I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
