He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
